My First Marathon I Didn't Actually Run

I actually got a good nights rest despite 3 sick kids. My husband was on kid duty and he did a great job! I woke up about 4:45am  and took a quick shower.  Don't ask me why I shower before sweating like a pig running, but I love that feeling of being refreshed.

I ate a banana and gathered my things and headed out the door around 5:40am.  I arrived around 7am and gathered my packet and got ready. It was cold, so I stayed in my car until it was time to start heading to the start line.

I was nervous, but I was more excited than anything.  I talked to lots of people that I know from a popular running group. It was awesome knowing I would be running the same race with them!

I started off slow. I kept around a 9:15-9:20 pace.  I felt great.  I didn't feel like I was running too fast. We had a few hills, but they weren't too bad. I still felt great.

Around mile 3 I started getting a side cramp. I breathed through it and it went away 5 minutes later.  That was a relief!  At mile 10, I started getting a stomach cramp, but it was both sides.  It took me by surprise and when I tried to run, I couldn't.  It worsened the pain. So, I walked and tried to breathe through the pain and run.

Dave, caught up to me and noticed I was struggling. He offered help, but I didn't know what was going on or why it was happening. He offered some much needed insight that made me fight for the next few miles.

 I struggled for the next 5 miles, at which the pain was at the all time worst.  I could barely break a trot before I had to stop and walk.

I didn't understand!  I was well hydrated! I had made sure all week to keep myself well hydrated so I would be ready to go on race day.  I had been eating my chews when I usually do, but nothing was helping.  This was when the tears came. I had 11 miles to go and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to finish.

This was the point where I got so mad. I had literally turned beast mode on the past 18 weeks running, doing strength and circuit training to help build my endurance. It's not like I woke up that morning and decided to go run a marathon. I fought and trained early mornings or late evenings. I owned those 449 miles I ran to train for this. I felt like this was so unfair! And I will not lie, I really wanted to quit at this point.  I honestly wanted to flag down the cars that were following along the race to take me back.

A guy I know caught up to me, which didn't surprise me.  It was his training run so he wasn't doing this marathon at race pace. He was surprised to see me.  And I told him trying to force back my tears that I didn't understand what was going on.  He stayed with me and it helped, but I didn't want to ruin his race, even though it was a training run for me.  I told him to go ahead and I'd eventually finish.

I saw my first goal of 4 hours slip away. I saw my 4hrs 15min goal slip away.  And then I saw my 4hr30min slip away and I cried. I felt defeated. I cursed at my body. I cursed at everything.

Around mile 18 as I got out of the porta potty, I continued my walk.  I was drinking water like nobodys business, trying to keep as hydrated as possible.

A woman I saw that was at the aid station caught up to me and she said, "you're struggling, tell me what's going on."  I explained my stomach hurt and I didn't know why.  And that's when I started crying. And I'm even crying now because that pain of defeat is so fresh to me.

She gave me salt pills, and said, they won't hurt you, take 2 now, and then take 2 at mile 20 and then another one at mile 22. I won't lie, hearing those miles made me weak inside and made me feel like I would never get to there.

For the two miles I trotted and walked (walked more than trotted) and that's when the back pain started.  I don't even know why.  But it did.  Somehow I got to mile 20 and my stomach felt better.  I was able to jog a little more than I was before.

This was how the next few miles went. I jogged as long as I could until my stomach hurt and then I walked.  Then when the back pain got to unbearable, I would jog again.  And that's how I survived.

With about a mile and half left, I saw a van coming toward me.  I realized as it got closer that it was my husband and the kids. He asked what was wrong and blubbering through tears I told him I didn't know why but my stomach was hurting. I cried and told him I was just trying to finish.  It was good seeing my children and that made me cry even more.

Somehow, I clawed my way to the finish line.

5 hrs 23 min that is my number. I wasn't really tired, despite back pain, because I basically walked about half of the marathon. I even struggle to say that I've done a marathon because I honestly don't feel like I actually did a marathon.  I am so mad that this, what was supposed to be the climax of all my hard training, was a big fat failure. I bombed it. 

But something I didn't do was give up.  I honestly didn't think I was going to be able to finish, but I did.

and that is my sad little story.  Excuse me while I go mourn under a rock and wish that yesterday was a nightmare and I could have a do-over.

2 mile run, what?

I ran 2 miles last night.  It was...short. It was a little hard in the beginning, but it was because of the slight uphill. Then I go into the groove. I even had to put on the brakes because I was going slightly faster than I wanted to.

I also did insanity's core cardio and balance, but took it a lower intensity level. I really don't want to tire myself out too much.

I can't believe it. I am nearly at the end of my training. (tomorrow I have another 2 mile run). I used to look at my calender (Back in DECEMBER!) and think, it is going to take forever to get to the end.  I remember looking at the 19 and 20 mile runs and thinking, those will be intense! But I did them!  And here I sit 2 days away from running. I can hardly believe it and when I let it start to sink in, my stomach fills with butterflies. 

I cannot believe that 18 weeks has come and gone and I am definitely stronger than when I started. I keep having dreams about marathons and a part of me just wants to be at that start line ready to turn on beast mode.

I've been drinking lots of water all week. I want my body to by hydrated all week and not just the day before.  I'm trying to eat clean and starting yesterday I have added a little more carbohydrates to my meals. My pre-race meal will be spaghetti. I plan on buying ground turkey so it will not be greasy and making homemade bread.  I LOVE homemade bread.

I've also decided to use honey stingers for this race. I like shot blocks, but they are hard to chew on the go. I don't want to waste precious seconds standing and eating. I'll fill 1 of my bottles with powerade like I usually do. I am going to the store and buying another running tank. It will be the same one that I have, but a size smaller.  The one I have is a little big and I don't want problems with loose clothing.

Good thing I have a book club meeting tonight to keep my mind of the thought that I am usually running thursday evenings.  Oh my gosh. It's almost Saturday!

Deer Creek Trail- 9 miles

Saturday late afternoon I ran with my two neighbors.  These 2 women trained with me for the Provo Haunted half last year.  They said they would just train but not run the race.  Well, they ended up running!

Anyway, we started off on the trail and it was really a great run. It was warm and just a slight breeze.  The trail was busier than I have ever seen it.

I felt like I finally got my legs back.  It felt amazing! I could have easily kept going.  It was such a nice relief because I was really starting to worry.

I ran this trail faster than I have in the past.  That was also really nice.

20 Mile Run- March 28, 2015

I woke up that morning to my period.  Are you kidding?!  I was 6 days early.  I blame my training for wacking out my cycle.   There was little comfort in knowing I would have to run 20 miles later that day.

The other blow, realizing I was unable to run in the morning like I usually do. I was not able to start until 4:30pm.

It was 70 degrees outside.  That may seem like the best time to go running but when I am used to running in the dark or just before sunset, 70 degrees is hot.  I think my downfall were the hills that I did in the very beginning. I was sweating like a pig and I struggled 2 miles uphill. 

My first 10 miles were excruciating.  My legs hurt. My right knee hurt (what?!) and when I looped around back to my house to the use bathroom, it took everything for me to leave and keep running. 

My whole body screamed at me to stop. My lower back especially hurt, but I can attribute that to my period.  I wanted to turn around and just go home or call my husband to come and get me. But I kept going.  Everything was mental at that point.  I suppose it was good practice for when I run the real race.

I was just frustrated because I had run 19 miles 2 weeks prior and I rocked it! I stayed on the pace the 2nd half and felt tired, but good.

When I finished the 20 miles and shouted with happiness. Then I started crying.  I was so happy and relieved I was done.  I had run 20 miles.  It was incredibly hard but rewarding.

I was still disappointed because I wanted to rock my 20 miles, but that's okay. I'll just rock my marathon!

4 mile super recovery run

This morning I went running at 5am with my neighbor. I really, really enjoy running with her.  I am on a taper (yay!) so I only had 4 miles to do.  I started out fine but then I really began to struggle. We did run up a hill, but still.  I was having a really hard time recovering when we turned.

My whole body felt tired. I had to walk at about a mile and a half. I felt so lame.  But it is what it is.

On another note, I was in the top 10 female runners for the Saltair Half! Woohoo! I even won 2nd in my division!  I think I get a certificate!  So that made me feel better about not getting a better time. 

Saltair Half- April 4, 2015

I actually got a good night's rest.  I am usually quite anxious the night before a race. I woke up and got ready and headed out.

I got there in plenty of time. It was very cold and I began to worry if I should wear my jacket, but I opted out as we got ready for the race.

I started out slow at a 9 minute mile pace. I felt great. It was really hard not to punch it because of the adrenaline going.  I wanted to go fast, but I knew I needed to pace myself. At about mile 4, my legs were feeling tired, but I tried to ignore them.

At mile 5, I knew I wanted to speed up. I ran that mile at 8:30, which was my goal for the remainder of the race.  But after the mile, my body wasn't responding.  My body was tired. I was getting frustrated. The wind was blowing pretty hard, but It was more a side wind than a head wind.  I struggled to keep under 9 min miles. 

By mile 8, my body was getting more tired. I would try to push my pace, but I couldn't.  So, I thought, okay I will keep 9 min as much as possible.  But by  mile 9, I was so tired I wanted to quite.  I didn't understand! In my speed training, and race pace days I was going 8:30 or faster for 8 miles.  But today my body wasn't having it. Maybe it is because of my marathon training?  My body is tired? I don't know, but I wanted to yell at my body!

At mile 10 everything became mental.  I wanted to walk, I wanted to give up.  My legs were so tired. I decided to dedicate each mile to my kids.  I fought hard to keep 9 min miles.  I even started going under 9min. 

I surprised myself when I had 1 mile left that I passed the 2 hour pacers. I looked at my watch and knew that I could do this last mile fast.  I gave it my all that last mile. My body was so tired but I pushed.  That last mile I believe was a 8:40.

I crossed and I couldn't believe it.  I got my PR.  I came in at 1:57.  That is 7 minutes faster than when I did my race back in November. 

So why was I so mad at myself? I was so incredibly disappointed.  I felt like in all my training and speed training, that I could have gotten 1:55 or lower.  It should have been no problem.  Mentally, I was there, but my body just wasn't prepared I guess.  I was so moody the rest of the day.  It was horrible. I should have been so happy that I finally gotten my PR.

So, I guess the lesson I learned is that each day is different.  You can be rocking your runs and sometimes when it comes to race day, it could just be an off day.   And that's okay.

It's not the end of the world. Afterall, it's just a race.

5 Mile Recovery Run

Yesterday was my recovery run from my long run on Saturday.  I was literally pressed for time because I had a dinner party to go to at 6:30pm.  My husband just started his awesome job yesterday and was home just after 5pm. I kind of expected the same thing. Well, 5pm comes around and he said he is just barely leaving.  So, now I'm freaking out about time.  So I realize I will be cutting my time super short and barely any time to get ready for the party.  You do what you gotta do, I guess.
I had a snack about 30 minutes prior to running and I was all dressed up in gear when my husband walked in the door. I quickly told him I loved him and was off.

I started off easy.  I wanted a comfortable pace, since this was my recovery run.  The first mile is uphill.  Not want to die as you run, uphill, but a gradual uphill.  I listened to my tunes and just ran. I looked at my garmin and was at a 9min pace.  It felt. I won't say that running uphill is easy peasy, but it felt like I was just barely working to keep that 9 minute pace and make it up the hill.

the 2nd mile flattens out, a little and then goes downhill, I'd say a quarter of a mile.  Then it goes straight up. It's not a big hill, but it is steep and you have to work for it.  Keeping the pace at 9 min (ish) was a little harder, but once over that hill, it's smooth sailing.

The 3rd mile was downhill. Glorious downhill. I tried to just let the hill run for me.  I didn't push myself. I've run down this hill at 7:30pace, so you definitely work for it.  But I just ran it and what felt comfortable and enjoyable. This mile was about 8:41.

The 4th mile was an out and back because this loop is only 4 miles and I need 5.  So, I went out and came back.  This mile was okay. It has both a gradual uphill and downhill.  You can definitely feel when it goes uphill. But, I just try to continue breathing and just enjoying the run.  Afterall, this is a recovery run. 

The last mile goes uphill and then goes downhill.  But I felt so strong.  My pace quickened without me even realizing it. It just felt so good. The sun had just set behind set behind the mountains and it was incredibly beautiful.  Yes, training is hard.  And sometimes it's not way fun.  But runs like today, make all the miles that I have ran, so worth it.  More than worth it. 

I finished that mile at 8:49.  It was great. I have about 10 minutes to quickly try to get ready and head out.  I finished 5 miles in 44 minutes 36 seconds. That's really good, for me!  For a recovery run that didn't feel like I was really pushing myself.

It really true when they say the more you run, the stronger you get. The faster you get!  I have also been complementing my running with insanity. I don't do it every single day, but at least 4 times a week.

I love running.